🚨 Welcome to this week’s issue of Generation Xcellent. I’m Stephen Perrine, New York Times bestselling author and former top editor at Men’s Health and Maxim. And like you, I’m doing all I can to survive the moshpit of midlife. Thanks for joining me on the journey! If you like what you see, send me an email—and share this newsletter with another guy who could use our help.

📩 Thanks for joining the conversation!

- GROOMING -

Best Cuts for Thinning Hair

Simple styling tips that make the most of less.

By Sandra Nygaard

Add texture where you can. If your hair is thin all over, go for more height like Jude Law, who styles his receding hairline with a textured crop cut that creates the illusion of fullness. "Play into your strengths while you have them," says the stylist. "A short, choppy cut that's tousled creates movement and dimension, which can help camouflage thinner spots."

Mind the back. Thinning at the crown? Try a high fade and leave some length on top to help cover the area—subtly. "We're not talking combover," says McMahan. "But you can style your hair to work with your shape and bring coverage where it counts."

Pick the right products. Avoid hair products that create a wet look; that just clumps strands together and exposes your scalp. Instead, opt for powders, pastes, and thickening spray. "Think about the weight of your hair and the weight of the product," advises McMahan. "You never want to weigh down fine hair, so I always recommend mousse because it's lightweight and coats hair." Then hit it with a blow dryer to give it extra body. It should always be touchable and moveable.

Grow a distraction. Hair might be thinning up top, but chances are, your beard's still going strong. Use it. "A beard draws attention to your face instead of your hair," says McMahan. Whether a full beard or some well-groomed scruff, it adds balance—and a little edge. Think David Letterman, Jason Statham, Steve Carell.

Show your strength (and some skin). If your grooming routine involves a lot of smoke, mirrors, and a dozen styling tricks, we hate to break it to you, but you're not fooling anyone. "It signals a lack of confidence," says McMahan. "Just be honest with yourself and know when it's time to go shorter, or even all in." A gradual transition can ease the change, he says. But when you finally embrace your hairline as it is, you won't think twice about wind, rain, or finding a hat to hide under. "You'll be surprised how liberating it is just to be yourself," he says. "There's nothing more empowering than that."

—Sandra Nygaard is the former Fashion and Grooming Director of Men’s Health. Her work has appeared in New York magazine, Men’s Journal, Men’s Vogue, and Surface.

- HEALTH -

Less Stress, More Muscle

Overcome Gen X Stress Syndrome, and start rebuilding your brain—and your body.

By Stephen Perrine

>You already know stress is bad for you—bad for your heart, for your brain, for your libido. But did you also know it can erode your muscle mass as well?

In fact, cortisol—the hormone released by your body during times of chronic stress—is toxic to muscle. A recent study found that elevated levels of cortisol lead to both reduced strength and less lean muscle mass.

That’s bad news for you and me in particular, given that surveys show Generation X is the most stressed generation in America. A recent New York Life study found that Gen Xers report the highest levels of anxiety and the lowest levels of hope compared to other generations.

Yeesh.

So if we want to stay lean and strong as we age, we need to buck up. I spoke with Daniel Kirsch, president of the American Institute of Stress, a nonprofit in Weatherford, Texas, to get his best advice on how to chill out fast.

Raise your hand. The best way to stop something from gnawing at you is to open up and let it out. Ask a professional or trusted friend what they think of the problem you’re wrestling with. You may not solve the problem right away, but that’s fine. Simply taking action toward solving it is what will make the difference, Kirsch said.

Do one thing at a time. “To charge your phone, you have to plug it in,” Kirsch told me. “To charge your brain, you have to unplug it.” Take opportunities to focus on just one thing. “When you sit down to eat breakfast, just concentrate on enjoying breakfast. Don’t plan the day.”

Use the quieting reflex. When something disturbs you, simply relax your jaw and smile, inwardly. Then, take in one deep breath—not an exaggerated breath. (You should be able to do it without anyone in the room noticing.) “Visualize hot air coming up through the bottom of your feet, through your body, and filling your lungs,” Kirsch said. This technique should quickly short-circuit an acute stress reaction.

Related:  The fast way to a flat belly at 45+

Walk. A long walk in nature would be great, but that’s not always available. Fine, Kirsch said. Simply walking around the living room for a little while can help break you out of an ongoing stress cycle.

Get distracted. “Think of a baby crying. To stop them, you give them something new to play with,” said Kirsch. When you’re in distress, take a moment to look up information on something completely different from what is stressing you out. Make it meaningless: “Who played second guitar on Frampton Comes Alive?” (Bob Mayo) “What’s Shaq’s shoe size?” (22). 

Make your bed. Admiral William McRaven wrote the book on it, but Kirsch loves the advice. When you start your day by making your bed, you start your day with a feeling of control and accomplishment, he explained.

Be compassionate, not empathetic. Caregivers have double the rate of severe depression as the general population. “It’s called compassion fatigue,” said Kirsch. “I tell my medical students, ‘Don’t feel their pain. Leave that to Bill Clinton.’ There is a difference between being sympathetic and being empathetic. We need to have sympathy, but we also need to isolate ourselves a bit. We can’t allow ourselves to feel others’ pain.”

—Stephen Perrine is the New York Times bestselling author of The Full Body Fat Fix (St. Martin’s Press).

Battle of the ‘90s Crushes: Week #6
Molly Ringwald vs. Demi Moore

>Welcome to week 6 of our epic March Madness–style tournament. Last week, Bangles lead singer Susannah Hoffs registered a slim victory over vampire-adjacent cinematic muse Salma Hayek.

This week it’s core Brat Pack as St. Elmo’s Fire alum Demi Moore takes on Breakfast Club princess Molly Ringwald in a battle between the only two people who may actually know what became of Judd Nelson. Who will triumph? Only YOU can decide!

We’ll have a new showdown every week, with more Gen X goddesses competing for your vote. And check out our social pages (we’re on Instagram, Facebook, and Threads) for updates and a full rundown of the winners.

- FATHERHOOD -

Your Minecraft Movie Survival Guide

The film is crap, but the father-and-son memories will last forever

By Bob Larkin

>Miles, my 14-year-old son, is pissed. He’s furious that I won’t let him bring a live chicken to the movie theater.

“I wouldn’t even know where to find a chicken,” I explained. “We’re not farmers.”

“You didn’t even try,” Miles snarls, sinking into his seat.

We’re seeing A Minecraft Movie, the new blockbuster that’s earned more than $660 million in just over a month and has been generating nationwide buzz not just for being f**king awful but for inspiring mayhem. Audiences (mostly teen boys) are throwing fistfuls of popcorn into the air, wired on caffeine and sugar and shouting along at their favorite lines. The cops have shown up at some screenings to deal with the pandemonium.

But the big draw, at least for my son, is the chickens. Teens are bringing actual chickens to the show. I’m not entirely sure what it means, but at some point in the film, Jack Black screams “CHICKEN JOCKEY,” which is essentially a dog whistle for teens to unleash hell.

My son’s initial plan, after I’d banned the chickens, was to arrive with a backpack full of water balloons. When I nixed that, Miles pleaded with me to at least buy the extra large bucket of popcorn. “So we have enough to throw at the screen,” he told me.

The movie is as terrible as you’ve heard. Jack Black plays a guy who finds a portal to a fantasy land called the Overworld inhabited by block-shaped creatures, and Jason Momoa is there for some reason. It’s like someone filmed a bounce house filled with cocaine.

I’ve spent my son’s entire childhood pretending to like the garbage that passes for kids' entertainment. But something about this experience was different. Because for the first time, my son agrees with me.

“This is the worst piece of shit I’ve ever seen in my life,” Miles groans, just loud enough that I think his mother (who opted not to join us) is somewhere grimacing, like Ben Kenobi sensing the destruction of Alderaan.

Like a lot of Gen-X dads, I haven’t had much success getting my kid interested in the movies I grew up loving. He rejected Star Wars, found Jaws boring, and assured me that This Is Spinal Tap wasn’t nearly as funny as I thought. It’s frustrating but not surprising. Teens are supposed to reject their parents’ culture. My dad never convinced me that Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein was cinematic gold, and he never understood why I was so enamored by Tarantino. It’s the circle of life.

Related:  20 Movies that Define Generation X

But the Minecraft Movie is a loophole. Miles and I will never bond over the movies we love. But we can bond over movies we hate. Some critics have compared A Minecraft Movie to the Rocky Horror Picture Show, dubbing it “Blocky Horror Pixel Show.” But for me, it’s more like Showgirls without the tits. It’s The Room but for teen audiences. It’s finally something that my son and I can agree on.

Jack Black utters the line we’ve all been waiting for. “Chicken jockey!” I lean towards Miles with our bucket of popcorn. “Shall we?”

We throw handful after handful of popcorn at the screen, and soon the whole theater is joining us. It’s weirdly exhilarating, and by far the most fun I’ve had with my surly teen in years.

Maybe we’ll come again. 

And maybe next time, we’ll bring a chicken. 

—Bob Larkin has written for Men’s Health, Esquire, The New York Post, and other outlets.