An Open Letter To My Unborn Son

Best Foods for the 45+ Brain AND What YOU Need to Know About Sex & Prostate Cancer

Author

Stephen Perrine
August 05, 2025

🚨 Welcome to this week’s issue of Generation Xcellent. I’m Stephen Perrine, New York Times bestselling author and former top editor at Men’s Health and Maxim. And like you, I’m doing all I can to survive the moshpit of midlife. Thanks for joining me on the journey! If you like what you see, send me an email—and share this newsletter with another guy who could use our help. (And as always, we’re 100% Organic Intelligence—written for guys like us, by guys like us.)

Stephen Perrine

- FATHERHOOD -

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An Open Letter to My Unborn Son

As his wife labors to deliver their first child, an expectant dad contemplates the meaning of manhood

By Henry Seeley

>Son,

Now more than ever it’s important to have some guidance on how to be a man. We’ve gone from pole to pole on “manliness” in the last few years, with the standards changing and the ideals becoming blurred. That makes it important to have a few guiding principles that help you get situated and determine for yourself who you’d like to be when you grow up. So here it goes—my advice for being a man:

Use Bullet Points. No, really. Keep your opinions and principles short and understandable. Feel a few things strongly. When you have conviction on how the world should work, you gain the ability to be flexible with the times and won’t fall for social or political “fads” that end up with you regretting your past views. It’ll help you understand your role within the world and give you a path forward when in doubt. It'll help you empathize with people you disagree with, since they might share a fundamental value with you, even if the application is different.  

Be Nice. Sometimes being nice means being direct. Sometimes being nice means closing your mouth. Sometimes it means saying something that will make someone feel better, even if you don’t understand what’s going on. You don’t need to pull punches or flatter to be nice, but a little goes a long way. 

Be Proactive. With the advent of technology that can do lots of amazing things as good (or better than) the human brain, it’s really hard to feel like you’re able to make a difference. Everything is already so complex that it seems like it’d take a lifetime to become “good” at anything. That’s really not true - all you have to do is pick something, try your butt off, and pick yourself back up after you make a mistake. Just doing these basic things over and over will make you successful at anything. 

Be Open to Learning New Things. You’ll get good at something (see above). You’ll find your principles (see further above). You’ll be nice to someone, and they might love you for that (see above in the middle). That doesn’t mean you can’t learn something new, pick up a new skill or make new friends  - and growing in this way is when it gets really fun to be a man. 

—Henry Seeley is an attorney, and a new dad, in northern California.
🧠 THAT’S WHAT WE GET FOR WASHING GROCERIES IN THE SINK

- HEALTH -

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Best Foods for the 45+ Brain

Bring an end to those “senior moments” and get your mind back in the game, fast!

By Stephen Perrine

> If you’re like me, you take every moment of confusion or lost knowledge—the location of keys, the name of the plumber, the 4 pm meeting that actually started at 3—as further evidence of your inevitable cognitive decline. Listening to Peter Gabriel’s “I Don’t Remember” is starting to feel less like nostalgia and more like future-casting.

If you think the bulbs in the floodlights might be dimming a bit, you’re probably right: Cognitive decline starts in mid-life. We lose about 0.2% of our brain volume every year between ages 35 and 60, a rate that ramps up even more later in life. And Gen X is particularly screwed: a UCSF study from last year found that the more stressed-out you were between the ages of 18 and 30, the more likely you are to see a loss of cognitive abilities in your 40s and 50s. (Good thing nothing stressful happened to us in young adulthood, like a major terrorist attack or a worldwide financial collapse, for example.)

But what that study also teaches us is that if we can make adjustments to our lifestyle today, we can control our brain’s future tomorrow. A new Alzheimer’s Association–backed study of 2111 older adults found that a healthy diet, combined with high-intensity physical exercise and ongoing learning and social engagement, could significantly increase cognition over the next two years.

“Understanding the interaction between nutrition and brain function is crucial as we age,” says Jean Woo, director of the Centre for Nutritional Studies at the Chinese University of Hong Kong. So, what’s a “healthy” diet when it comes to the brain?

Since you probably don’t have a brain doctor, maybe just listen to your cardiologist: What’s good for the heart is good for the brain. The new study found that the MIND diet, which emphasizes fruits, vegetables, nuts, seeds, legumes, and whole grains; allows moderate amounts of dairy, seafood and lean meats; and is low in sugar (5 or fewer servings of sweets per week), significantly improved our ability to stay sharp as we age. Indeed, some research shows that following the MIND diet can help your brain perform as if it were 7.5 years younger. Here’s what should be on your brain the next time you order off the menu:

Start the Day with Dairy. To retain muscle, it’s essential to start your day with protein, and the easiest place to get it is from yogurt, cottage cheese, or a whey smoothie. A study of 900 older people in the journal Neurology found that those with the greatest muscle strength had a 43% decrease in Alzheimer’s risk. Added bonus: dairy delivers calcium, which reduces blood pressure to protect the blood vessels in the brain. 

Lean Into Green. All vegetables are good, but focus on leafy greens like spinach, chard, kale, arugula, collards, Romaine lettuce, and Swiss chard. Leafy greens are rich in the brain-boosting vitamin folate, as well as vitamin K, lutein and beta carotene, all of which have been linked to longer-lasting brain health.

❝

SOME RESEARCH SHOWS THAT THE PROPER DIET CAN HELP YOUR BRAIN PERFORM AS IF IT WERE 7.5 YEARS YOUNGER.

Forage in the Forest. Nuts, seeds, whole berries (not juice). Studies have shown that strawberries, blackberries, blueberries, black currants and mulberries all reduce inflammation in the nervous system. Nuts and seeds are loaded with monounsaturated fats, which have the same effect.

Bite the Burrito. Beans, whole grains like brown rice, and chicken should be among your top protein sources.

Eat Like Adam. Tree fruits such as apples, pears, and peaches are all loaded with fiber and brain-protecting potassium. And don’t forget avocados and olives, which are also tree fruits; their oils keep arteries supple, including the ones in the brain.

Take Yourself Fishing. A report from the Oregon Health & Science University found that those who had higher blood levels of omega-3 fatty acids had less brain shrinkage as they aged.

And limit, as best you can, processed foods (especially processed meats like hot dogs, sausage and cold cuts); sugar; salt; and fried foods.

—Adapted from The Full-Body Fat Fix: The Science-Based 7-Day Plan to Cool Inflammation, Heal Your Gut, and Build a Healthier, Leaner You! by Stephen Perrine (St. Martin’s Press).

Ask Jen: The X-Rated Files
“How Can I Get My Wife to Initiate Sex More Often?”

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>Got a question about sex, marriage, dating, or whatever’s happening in your DMs? Ask Jen X! She’s blunt, crass, and mature enough to remember what “second base” meant before Tinder. Write in with your romantic dilemmas—she’ll sort it out, no judgement. (Well, maybe a little.)

Q: My wife says I never initiate sex anymore, but the truth is, I’ve been low-key hoping she’d take the lead once in a while. We’re both just kind of... waiting. It’s been almost two months. Did we accidentally ghost each other? —Doug B., Albuquerque, NM

A: Doug, are you waiting for her to pounce on you like she’s Tawny Kitaen on a car hood, or have you actually told her you’d like a turn being the pursued? Because if you’re just sitting there hoping she reads your mind, you’re gonna be waiting a long time.

Here’s a radical concept: say something. Out loud. Preferably not during an episode of Dexter: Resurrection. Try: “Babe, I love it when you take charge. I’d be into you initiating more.” If she thinks you’ve lost interest, she might be pulling back too. Or worse, she’s relieved you’re not bugging her, which is its own kind of conversation. Sex funks are like dial-up internet: annoying, slow, and sometimes you just need to unplug and reboot. So talk to her. Naked, if possible.

- HEALTH -

Alamy

What Mid-Life Men Need to Know about Prostate Cancer

The slugger who awed us with The Sandberg Game left behind one more important lesson

By Bob Larkin

>It was June 23, 1984, and I was at Wrigley Field with my dad. Just before first pitch, he handed me a hot dog, pointed toward second base, and said, “If the Cubs have any chance of making it to the World Series, it’s Ryno.”

He meant Ryne Sandberg, the Hall of Fame second baseman, nine-time Gold Glove winner, and ten-time All-Star, the guy who made Cubs fans believe in the impossible.

The Cubs, of course, did not make it to the World Series that year. Or the next. Or the next 31. But that day? That was The Sandberg Game, when Ryno hit game-tying homers in both the 9th and 10th innings off Hall of Famer Bruce Sutter, leading the Cubs to a 12-11 victory. “Do you believe it?! It’s gone!” Bob Costas shouted, in a broadcast that still lives rent-free in many Gen X brains. I was 11, covered in mustard, and completely hooked. That day, I fell in love with baseball, and with Ryno. 

Forty years later, Sandberg announced he had metastatic prostate cancer. And in true Ryno fashion, he stepped up to the plate. He shared his entire journey: the chemo, the radiation, the hope. For a while, it looked like he’d won. But the cancer came back and spread. In late July, he passed away at 65. It was a gut punch, but also a wake-up call.

Time to Play Defense

Prostate cancer is the second most common cancer in men, but it's also one of the most treatable, if you catch it early. The test you should be talking to your doctor about is called the prostate-specific antigen test, or PSA.

“PSA testing helps us find men at risk and those who are not,” says Elizabeth Kavaler, MD, a urologist and medical director at Total Urology Care of New York. “It’s not a perfect test, but it’s the best we’ve got, and it’s saved countless lives over the years.”

 A high PSA level doesn’t always mean cancer. It could be triggered by exercise, sex, or just having a generously sized prostate (bragging rights optional). But it’s the starting line. If it’s elevated, doctors may follow up with an MRI and a targeted biopsy.

No Longer One-Strike-and-Out

 Back in the day, a scary PSA number almost always led to surgery, often with brutal consequences—one reason why many men today avoid the test.

“We used to do tons of prostate surgeries, removing their prostates completely,” Kavaler says. It saved their lives, but “many of these men were rendered incontinent, impotent and miserable,” she says. Today, things are different. For many, treatment doesn’t mean surgery. New options like cryotherapy (freezing the tumor) or radiofrequency ablation (zapping it) can treat small tumors while leaving the rest of the prostate (and your dignity) intact.

 “We’re still getting used to the idea that cancer can often be something you manage rather than something you eradicate,” says Kavaler. “You still monitor it, but it can be managed.” If you’re over 50, ask your doctor about getting a PSA test. If you’re high-risk — Black men, men with a family history — start earlier.

If Ryno could stare down Bruce Sutter and cancer, the least you can do is make a doctor’s appointment.

And hey, if the Cubs can finally win a World Series, anything’s possible.

—Bob Larkin writes for Men’s Health, the New York Post, and other outlets.
💰 POSITIVELY EXPENSIVE FOURTH STREET

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