🚨 Welcome to this week’s issue of Generation Xcellent. I’m Stephen Perrine, New York Times bestselling author and former top editor at Men’s Health and Maxim. And like you, I’m doing all I can to survive the moshpit of midlife. Thanks for joining me on the journey! If you like what you see, send me an email—and share this newsletter with another guy who could use our help.

📩 Thanks for joining the conversation!

- SUCCESS -

Bill Belichick’s Rules for Winning

He’s got 8 Super Bowl rings and a girlfriend who’s half a century younger than he is. Think this guy might have an idea or two worth stealing?

By Jeff Stevenson

Don’t trust “helpful” people: Whenever you start a new job, you’ll have someone in front of your desk pledging to help with “whatever you need.” Do not trust that person. Take note of when they actually do step up to help, and what their motivations are. Remember that “help,” when promised in a public setting, always comes with an asterisk.

Stay paranoid: Never stop watching. Never stop being afraid. There will always be someone better. And if someone better doesn’t exist, then it’s up to you to become that person. In life, as in football, there are two reasons why you lose out: either you’re not playing well, or someone else is playing better.

—Jeff Stevenson has written for Men’s Health, Maxim, and other classic men’s magazines.

- SEX -

Gifts for Her that Keep Giving (to You)

We asked some of the hottest Gen X women we know for the single gift a man gave them that stood out—and helped keep the homefires burning.

By Jennifer Wolff

>It’s less than 2 weeks until Mother’s Day and, as usual, you’re stumped for gift ideas. But what if you stopped thinking of the impending outlay as a gift, and instead, thought of it as an investment that will pay off over time? This is your carnal portfolio.

Investment #1: Fix what frustrates her

Kate, 47: After hearing me complain about not having anything to wear, he had a wardrobe consultant come to our home, check out my closet, and then take me shopping!

Ingrid, 50: I had just moved to Florida and landed a new job, but I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to take it because it required a reliable car. He called me and said, “Look outside and tell me if you like the black Toyota in our parking spot.” His friend had dropped off a used 2007 Carola, and so I was able to take the job.

 Jennifer, 53: My husband and I started dating a few months after 9/11. I had this deep fear that one day a plane would fly through my window, and my building would topple to the ground. And because I was single while most of my friends were already married with children, my greatest fear was that no one would look for me. His first gift to me was a watch engraved with the words I’ll find you. Today the inscription is fading, but it’s the most meaningful gift anyone has ever given me.

Investment #2: Involve family and friends

Ria, 44: He created a fake podcast, and interviewed our two children for Mother’s Day. Now he does a new episode for each Mother’s Day and my birthday. [Ed note: It’s pretty awesome. You can listen to it here.]

Cathy, 51:  For a milestone birthday he put together several days of get-togethers with my favorite people and activities: A Pilates class for me and our daughter, then lunch with my favorite friends. Then he invited my cousins from California and Dallas to a surprise catered dinner at our house, followed the next day by brunch for 17 family members.

Investment #3: Try ear candy

Michelle, 48: “Scenes from an Italian Restaurant” was one of our songs. He took me on an overnight trip to see Billy Joel at Madison Square Garden, including dinner at an Italian restaurant.

 Lisa, 45: He wrote me an original song.

 Meredith, 56: I was going into surgery, and my Brazilian then-boyfriend made me a mixtape of Brazilian music to have for my recovery. I remember calmly and happily falling asleep to it.

Related:  5-Minute Bedroom Boosters

Investment #4: Play off the past

 Daniela, 47: We met on a Saturday night in 1994, at the kind of bar that played great music and had sawdust on the floor. I wrote my work phone number on a napkin and gave it to him. We dated casually for a while, then went our separate ways.

Seven years later he emails me out of the blue, and we start dating again. A few years on he was ready to propose, but I had told him I didn’t want a traditional engagement ring. One night, he gives me the scrap of napkin from the bar, nine and a half years prior, with my 1994 work number on it, and says, “Can I give you a ring sometime?”

Investment #5: Just Be There

Susan, 44: My husband Joe is not a great gift guy. One Christmas he gave me a bearded dragon and a remote-control jeep that he had built himself. But once when I was very ill in the hospital, and I couldn't clean myself up, Joe washed and dried me tenderly and lovingly. Him being there when I needed him like that – I couldn’t ask for anything more.

—Journalist Jennifer Wolff has written for Real Simple, New York and Cosmopolitan.

Battle of the ‘90s Crushes: Week #7
Lisa Bonet vs. Uma Thurman

>Welcome to week 7 of our epic March Madness–style tournament. Last week, Molly Ringwald ran rings around Demi Moore, as the Pretty in Pink star advanced to the next round.

This week’s matchup pits Lisa Bonet, who played the daughter of beloved TV star and real-life sex weirdo Bill Cosby, against Uma Thurman, who played the wife of beloved TV star and real-life sex weirdo David Carradine. Which of these crushes will move on to the quarter finals? Only YOU can decide! 

We’ll have a new showdown every week, with more Gen X goddesses competing for your vote. And check out our social pages (we’re on Instagram, Facebook, and Threads) for updates and a full rundown of the winners.

- HEALTH -

5 Ways to Boost Your Brain Power Today

Shake off the fuzzy thinking and keep your mind sharp for the long haul.

By Bob Larkin

>We’re called the Sandwich Generation for good reason: Even as our kids are still cashing checks at the Bank of Dad, our parents are growing more and more frail–physically and mentally. That’s a lot of cranky, needy, emotionally withholding people playing us from both sides.

Nothing we can do to retrain your troublemaking teenagers. But if your parents’ cognitive decline has you concerned, you may have more defenses at your fingertips than you know. A number of studies have just arrived that confirm how the lifestyle choices we make today can dramatically alter our future brain health. Here’s what we’ve learned in just the past month:

• Lift weights 2x a week. Gym rats may not have a reputation for mental acuity, but they should. A study in the journal GeroScience divided adults ages 44 to 55 with mild cognitive impairment into two groups. One group did twice-a-week, high-intensity weight training with progressive loads (meaning, the weight increased as they got stronger). After six months, the weight lifters showed improvement in verbal memory and stronger brain neurons. The non-weight-lifters showed worsening brain health. 

• Get the shingles vaccine. At mid-life you should be getting it anyway, but in addition to preventing the painful shingles virus from emerging, the vaccine can also reduce your risk of developing dementia by 20 percent, according to a new study in Nature.
  

• Ask for an EKG. If atrial fibrillation (AFib) runs in your family, get an EKG at your next checkup. People who develop AFib before age 65 have a 36% increased risk for early-onset dementia. 
  

• Be religious about statins. People whose LDL (bad cholesterol) levels are below 70 mg/dl have a 26% lower risk of dementia than those with higher levels.
  

• Get your ass to bed. More sleep helps clear junk from the brain. A recent study found that not getting enough deep sleep can cause areas of the brain to atrophy. Yikes!

• And get your hearing tested. Yes, we too spent many a teenage night as close to the Marshall amps as we could get. Uncovering and treating even mild hearing loss could cut your risk of dementia by 16%, according to a new study. Still headbanging? Consider professional-grade earplugs that let you hear all the music but soften the ear-damaging high tones.

—Bob Larkin has written for Men’s Health, Esquire, The New York Post, and other outlets.