🚨 Welcome to issue #2 of Generation Xcellent. I’m Stephen Perrine, New York Times bestselling author and former top editor at Men’s Health and Maxim. And like you, I’m doing all I can to survive the moshpit of midlife. Thanks for joining me on the journey! If you like what you see, send me an email—and share this newsletter with another guy who could use our help.

📩 Thanks for joining the conversation!

- SEXUAL HEALTH -

Is Your Manhood Shrinking? (Maybe! Here’s How to Tell)

An open letter from your favorite organ

As told to Bob Larkin

>Psst. Hey, man, it’s me. Your penis. We need to talk.

You’ve probably noticed some changes in me. For example, I no longer stand at attention at the drop of a hat. (Or a dress.) These days, I need a little more time to get there. 

Also, I might be shrinking a bit. 

Of course you’ve noticed. But like George Constanza, you’ve rationalized the shrinkage. You’ve made excuses. “It’s just winter penis,” you tell yourself. “These pants are too baggy in the crotch. The lighting is all wrong. We just need some encouragement!”

I appreciate your optimism, I really do. But it might be time to face facts. When it comes to my size and shape, “things are going to change, decade to decade,” says Seth Cohen, MD, MPH, a urologist with NYU Langone Health in New York City. 

It’s the testosterone. Most guys start to lose testosterone at around age 40, and though you only lose about 1% every year, it can lead to a smaller me. That’s because the health of my tissue “is dependent on testosterone,” says Brian Helfand, MD, PhD, the chief of urology at NorthShore University HealthSystem in Chicago. “And testosterone levels decline with age, so the overall size of your penis can get smaller.” 

Unfortunately, there’s not much to be done about it. Testosterone therapy can sometimes increase penis size, but only for young children. That ship has pretty much sailed for us.

It’s the cheeseburgers. Remember how the giant suit David Byrne wore in Stop Making Sense made his head look tiny by comparison? That could be what’s happening to me. But instead of a suit, it’s your big belly that’s causing the optical illusion.

By some estimates, an extra forty pounds of body weight can conceal about an inch of me. If you graduated high school at 145 and now weigh 225? Welp, that’s two full inches of manhood, disappeared into the ether like Keyser Söze.

Coincidentally, fat contains an enzyme that converts testosterone into estrogen. We need all the testosterone we can get, especially these days! So for the love of me, more pullups, less pulled pork, ok?

It’s all the damn lies! Everything you know about “average” penis size is probably wrong. One Dutch study from 2023 found that guys tend to exaggerate their penis size by 21% over the average. Another recent study from Stanford discovered that the claims of human penis size have grown at an “alarming rate” since 1992, from an average of 4.8 to 6 inches. 

My point is, we don’t have any firm (pun intended) evidence of how penises actually change, because everybody involved is an unreliable narrator. But we do know that less fat and more muscle will mean less shrinkage—and more me!

One important caveat: Over time, some men may develop Peyronie’s disease, in which a build-up of scar tissue on my fibrous layer “can change the shape and curvature of the penis,” says Cohen. “And those plaques can prevent expansion in girth and length.” Peyronie’s is painful and can cause all sorts of problems in the bedroom besides just short stiffies. So if I start to resemble a Dalí painting, talk to your doctor.

—Bob Larkin is a frequent contributor to Best Life, MSN, and Men’s Health, among other publications.

- MONEY -

Do This Today to Be Wealthy Tomorrow

No generation has been as financially screwed as Generation X. Here’s how to start fighting back 

By Jeff Stevenson

>If you think building financial stability was easier for men of an earlier generation, well…you’re right.

“We’re the generation of guys for whom the rules changed,” says Brad Klontz, PhD, a GenXer and psychologist who specializes in finance. “Our parents and grandparents didn’t have to think about money the way that we do. My grandfather did not have to save and invest a dime in his life. There was the promise of Social Security and General Motors paid him his pension, and when he died it went to my grandma. For us, the game shifted dramatically.” And with our dads not quite getting it, “there was no one to tell us how to handle that shift.

“A lot of us in Gen X feel like we got left behind,” he continues. “Now I know a lot of people in their 50s who are like, ‘Oh, shit.’” 

Many of the men you know are thinking just that. You might be, too. And nobody’s talking about it: Keeping our vulnerabilities secret is an ancient survival instinct left over from our tribal past, when status was literally a matter of life and death, Klontz says. 

But our status isn’t good: Even though we’re fewer in numbers than Boomers or Millennials, 40 percent of all personal debt belongs to Gen Xers, according to the Fed. Six in 10 of us say that money has a negative effect on our mental health. 

And financial anxiety is growing, especially right now, as the news is full of stories mentioning the R word: Recession. Fortunately, fixing financial anxiety is Klontz’s specialty. He offers three money moves you should make right now to start building wealth, feel more in control of your finances–and avoid those “oh shit” moments in the years to come. 

Investment #1: Sub accounts

“l think this is the most powerful thing you can do today to increase how much money you have 5 or 10 years from now,” says Klontz.

Sit down and scribble out your goals for the future. Long term stuff, like college tuition and that villa on the Amalfi Coast. Shorter term stuff, like a new car or a big vacation or a silver anniversary gift. Now go into your bank accounts, set up sub-savings accounts for each of those goals, and then tweak your automatic deposit settings to have a small slice of your paycheck deposited into each of those accounts every time you get paid. 

“It’s incredibly powerful because even if you’re only automating 5 bucks a month, you’re not going to miss the money,” he says. “If you have a little extra money from time to time, you can scoot it into those accounts. And five years from now you might have five or ten grand to throw at something that you wouldn’t have had otherwise.

“The biggest mistake people make is leaving money in their checking account,” Klontz says. “Whatever’s in your checking account right now is going to disappear.” 

Investment #2: Your future earning power. 

“Invest in your ability to continue to earn money,” Klontz says. 

If you’re in your mid-fifties, your future looks a lot brighter if you can continue to bring home a paycheck for another 15 years or more. But if you don’t take care of your physical well-being today, that window might start to close. And that boils down to routine maintenance: dentist appointments, annual checkups, and regular workouts.

But who has the time (or money) for that when we’re all so busy trying to stay afloat financially? “This is something that I’ve struggled with my whole life as a workaholic, and that’s to stop ‘working’ and go work out,” says Klontz. What works for him, he says, is to remind himself that self-care is a financial investment. “If I can maintain my health for five extra years, that’s a lot of money. And if I’m not taking care of my health and have to stop working, or lose time from work, then I’m hurting myself financially. So you’re not being selfish by going to the gym or playing pickleball. You’re taking care of other people by doing it. GenX men need to give themselves permission to do that.”

Investment #3: Double down on your marriage. 

“I will save you 50 percent of your net worth: Don’t get divorced,” Klontz says. 

“Your relationship is the best financial investment you can make,” he adds. “Don’t blame your spouse for your existential angst.” Instead, have a conversation with 75-year-old you about your financial security. Boy, is Future You going to be pissed that you blew half your life savings on a brief merger with Monica from marketing. Especially since the old guy might be facing another quarter century of trying to stay afloat.

“There’s a really good chance that if you can take care of your health in the next 5 to 10 years, modern medicine is going to dramatically extend your lifespan and your ability to function. So you have a lot of time to keep investing,” says Klontz. Conversely, you also have a lot of time to keep doggie paddling if you don’t play the next decade right.

—Jeff Stevenson has written for Men’s Health and Cosmopolitan on money, sex, health, and other things that screw up men’s lives.

- HEALTH -

Your 3-Point Back Pain Response Plan

Not loving your lower lumbar? The real culprit might be lurking elsewhere in your body.

By Jordan Metzl, M.D.

>Does your back hate you? 

It feels that way sometimes. But chances are, if your lower back hurts, it’s not because you hurt your lower back. It’s because of something else. 

Back pain often results from muscle weakness or imbalances around the spine. Any issue with your glutes, hip flexors, hamstrings, quads and abs can launch a bout of back pain. But if you can get strong in all of these areas, your lumbar will start to resolve–or at least you’ll cut down on the groaning when you get up out of a chair. Here are three moves that have consistently worked for my patients over the years.

Prone Cobra: Lie facedown on the floor with your legs straight and your arms next to your sides, palms down. Contract your glutes and the muscles of your lower back, then raise your head, chest, arms and legs off the floor. Simultaneously rotate your arms so that your thumbs point toward the ceiling. At this time your hips should be the only part of your body touching the floor. Hold this position for as long as you can, up to 30 seconds. If that’s too hard, hold the position for 5 to 10 seconds, rest for 5 seconds, then repeat until you hit a total of 30 seconds of elevation.

Swiss-Ball Pike: Assume a pushup position with your arms completely straight. Position your hands slightly wider than and in line with your shoulders. Rest your shins on a Swiss ball. Your body should form a straight line from your head to your ankles. Without bending your knees, roll the Swiss ball toward your body by raising your hips as high as you can (push them toward the ceiling). Pause, then return the ball to the starting position by lowering your hips and rolling the ball backward. 

Hip Raise: Lie face up on the floor with your knees bent and your feet flat on the floor. Place your arms out to your sides at 45-degree angles, your palms facing up. Now squeeze your glutes and push down with your heels to raise your hips so your body forms a straight line from your shoulders to your knees. Pause for 5 seconds in the up position, then lower your body back to the starting position. Repeat 12 times. 

—Jordan Metzl, M.D. is a sports medicine physician at the Hospital for Special Surgery in New York and the author of several books on the intersection of medicine, fitness and health, including The Athlete’s Book of Home Remedies.